Day 1 Of Substack

Build The Plane As You Fly It

If I were a rational human being, I would never have started COTW.

In truth, I’d never have had the skill set to do so because I also wouldn’t have pursued my childhood dream of being a comic book creator.

The degree of fervor and obsessive discipline I applied to this strange and amorphous career path probably would have been better spent on someone who wanted to become a scientist or soldier; I would have probably cured a form of cancer by now, it was so self consuming.

There’s no shortage of folks on the internet telling you how to manifest your dreams, attain financial freedom, etc. Ironically it seems most of these individuals’ businesses, are telling other people to start businesses. Makes me imagine a world where no one produces anything, they simply just regurgitate the previous person’s shtick. Regardless, that part they leave out most of the time is how lonely the path is.

When you know what you want to do with your life, it’s been my experience that you’re placed in a pretty small sampling of humans on the planet at that point. Most of us are content to just sort of…hangout. We vaguely wish there was more to our lives, but “more” requires risk and risk means possible failure, and failing is up there with public speaking as far as top fears most of us have (next to public speaking). Throughout my 20’s while my friends were worrying about tomorrow, next week (so to speak) I was trying to crank through 1,000 inked drawings. An exercise I’d been given by my mentor and comic book hero, Paul Pope. I still built in time to have fun, but I made sure I had something to draw and ink with whenever I did- just on the odd chance I had a moment to practice.

To put it simply, I sucked. I knew I could get there, but I wasn’t there and somehow I innately understood there was no short cut for someone that wasn’t born with talent.

I’m going to repeat that. I wasn’t born with talent.

People always say to me “I wish I had your talent.” I tell them that they could and they typically scoff.

“You just have to put the work in.”

People don’t like this. They’d prefer to think that I won some sort of lottery, because if I didn’t in fact win that genetic lottery, it means they have some things to consider for themselves. It means that something in the back of their mind says “Oh, I can do it to? But I’m not…and it took him how long?”

My dad says “Do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” It’s true. What’s also true is that it takes YEARS of being terrible at what you do to get good at it and make a decent living eventually.

That’s the way it use to be though. If you apprenticed as an electrician, you don’t just read a book and go out into the field with the same level of knowledge as a veteran of 20 years. You acquire skills when you commit to a craft or trade. The same can be said of cowboying.

Those fulfilling paths you see on 15 second reels on Instagram, if they are in fact true and not curated, are usually the result of walking this lonely path, of failing over and over and continuing to trudge forward. Even by the time I started on my book CARVER: A Paris Story, I KNEW I was fighting above my weight class. I wasn’t ready or good enough when I started it. I also knew that I would never feel ready, so f*** it, full send, baby.

Let’s go. First graphic novel- let’s not s*** the bed. So I started. One page at a time.

Chop wood, carry water.

Somehow, it worked.

Just like the 1,000 inked drawings at the beginning, I put one foot in front of the other and walked up the mountain. You see, when you stop worrying about whether you’re good enough, and no longer wait for permission from someone in a position of authority, what you have there my friends is freedom.

The freedom to do.

Now it doesn’t mean you’re gonna get a trophy, or that everyone is going to like what you’re doing. It does mean though that you have purpose. You have a goal. You’re on your own journey and no one else’s.

In the words of Louis L’Amour, “The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail.”

So make no mistake, COTW is my trail. I do NOT know where it’s going.

I know that it’s a song I need to sing though. There’s something in my heart that compels me to stand up and try and remind myself and the rest of us that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, and to be different, and work hard at what we believe to be of import to ourselves. To comport ourselves with dignity and respect, and treat each others the same way unless they prove to be scoundrels.

I hope too that inspires you, Reader to think about what is important to you. What’s that thing you wished for yourself? The road not taken. I’m here to tell you, it’s for you to choose.

You just gotta be okay with building the plane while you fly it.